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Tag: Satire

Beauty Giants Discover Ozempic Ate Your Face, Announce They Would Be Delighted to Sell It Back to You

Beauty Giants Discover Ozempic Ate Your Face, Announ...

Jake Morrison

Oct 22, 2026

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Galderma, Natura and L'Oreal are testing treatments for "Ozempic face," the s...

Scientists Finally Map the Part of Your Brain That Decides How Bad Monday Feels, and It Turns Out It Has Been Editing the Story All Along

Scientists Finally Map the Part of Your Brain That D...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 22, 2026

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16

A Stanford-led team spent more than a decade sending electrical currents into...

Daily Horoscope: Robert Pattinson Was Bribed Into a Movie With 200 Cans of Zyn, and the Stars Say Your Price Is Even Lower

Daily Horoscope: Robert Pattinson Was Bribed Into a ...

Emily Carter

Oct 22, 2026

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11

Director Lance Oppenheim says he got Robert Pattinson to star in A24's "Prime...

Nor'easter Loiters Off the Coast for Days, Gets Promoted to Subtropical Storm Josephine, Immediately Leaves the Country

Nor'easter Loiters Off the Coast for Days, Gets Prom...

Jake Morrison

Oct 21, 2026

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Subtropical Storm Josephine formed off the US East Coast on October 21, 2026,...

Florida Cop Allegedly Answers Welfare Check, Finds Dead Man, Leaves With a House, Which Is Not What "Protect and Serve" Means Even in Broward

Florida Cop Allegedly Answers Welfare Check, Finds D...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 21, 2026

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A Lauderhill police officer is accused of turning a 2022 welfare check into a...

Glee Is Coming Back, Because Hollywood Has Finally Recovered From the Last Time a Teenager Sang Journey at Lunch

Glee Is Coming Back, Because Hollywood Has Finally R...

Emily Carter

Oct 21, 2026

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5

Disney+ and Hulu have ordered a Glee revival from Ryan Murphy, with no cast, ...

Civil Servant Accused of Working Five Government Jobs at Once Was Contracted for 183 Hours a Week, Which Is 15 More Hours Than God Put in It

Civil Servant Accused of Working Five Government Job...

Jake Morrison

Oct 21, 2026

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8

Kashim Chowdhury, 55, told Southwark Crown Court he "made mistakes" but had n...

Brewers Fans Wait 11 Years to Cash In $1,000 "Timeless Tickets," Get World Series Seats So High They Count as Air Travel

Brewers Fans Wait 11 Years to Cash In $1,000 "Timele...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 21, 2026

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5

In 2015 the Milwaukee Brewers sold 1,000 "Timeless Tickets" for $1,000 each, ...

State Department Orders Diplomats to Stop Saying "AI" and Start Saying "Super Intelligence," Giving the Chatbot a Promotion Without a Single New Skill

State Department Orders Diplomats to Stop Saying "AI...

Emily Carter

Oct 21, 2026

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8

A State Department cable tells staff to replace "artificial intelligence" wit...

Elon Musk Proposes Merging Elon Musk's Company With Elon Musk's Other Company, Then Recuses Himself Because He Can't Be Trusted Around Himself

Elon Musk Proposes Merging Elon Musk's Company With ...

Jake Morrison

Oct 21, 2026

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9

Elon Musk told SpaceX's earnings call that SpaceX and Tesla have formed speci...

Australia's Weather Radar Reports Rain Every Night for a Month, Bureau Confirms the Rain Is Millions of Moths and the Radar Is Fine

Australia's Weather Radar Reports Rain Every Night f...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 21, 2026

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10

Australia's weather radars have shown light rain over eastern New South Wales...

Over 1,000 Mathematicians Go Vegan on Artificial Intelligence, Promising Proofs That Are Free-Range, Hand-Raised and Only Six Years Late

Over 1,000 Mathematicians Go Vegan on Artificial Int...

Emily Carter

Oct 21, 2026

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11

More than 1,000 mathematicians have joined the Association for Human Mathemat...

Georgia Town Secretly Tracks Its Police Chief's Truck, Successfully Locates the Entire Police Department Leaving

Georgia Town Secretly Tracks Its Police Chief's Truc...

Jake Morrison

Oct 20, 2026

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10

Someone put an electronic tracker on the police chief's truck in Milner, Geor...

Jesse Eisenberg Says a Razzie for Bad Acting Ended His Studio Career, Making It the Only Award in Hollywood That Has Ever Worked Exactly as Intended

Jesse Eisenberg Says a Razzie for Bad Acting Ended H...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 20, 2026

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10

Jesse Eisenberg told a BFI London Film Festival audience that his Worst Suppo...

Man Kicks a Rugby Ball Into Brentford vs Liverpool From a Rooftop, and Police Are Now Hunting the Premier League's Most Accurate Long Ball

Man Kicks a Rugby Ball Into Brentford vs Liverpool F...

Emily Carter

Oct 20, 2026

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4

Brentford have referred to police a man filmed kicking a rugby ball from a ne...

Salesforce Pays $5.66 Billion for the Company Behind Your "We Miss You" Notifications, and Braze Shareholders Have Never Felt So Missed

Salesforce Pays $5.66 Billion for the Company Behind...

Jake Morrison

Oct 20, 2026

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3

Salesforce, "the world's #1 AI CRM," is buying customer engagement platform B...

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