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Tag: Satire

Michael Saylor Skips His Sunday Bitcoin Chart, and Crypto Traders Check on Him Like a Grandpa Who Didn't Call After Church

Michael Saylor Skips His Sunday Bitcoin Chart, and C...

Emily Carter

Oct 26, 2026

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6

Strategy chairman Michael Saylor didn't post his usual Sunday orange-dot bitc...

Connecticut Teen Passes Police Cruiser to Ram Man on His Stolen Dirt Bike, Gets Arrested for Having the Best Response Time in the State

Connecticut Teen Passes Police Cruiser to Ram Man on...

Jake Morrison

Oct 26, 2026

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4

A 17-year-old in Connecticut whose dirt bike was stolen tailed the police cha...

Robot Dog Solves Giant Rubik's Cube With Its Feet, Immediately Becomes the Most Accomplished Thing in Every Office Break Room

Robot Dog Solves Giant Rubik's Cube With Its Feet, I...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 26, 2026

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4

ETH Zurich's four-legged ANYmal-D robot solved a giant 40cm, 4.6kg Rubik's Cu...

Scientists Identify Mushroom That Makes You See Hundreds of Tiny Clowns, and the Only Known Antidote Is a 15-Minute Kitchen Timer

Scientists Identify Mushroom That Makes You See Hund...

Emily Carter

Oct 26, 2026

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5

University of Utah researchers have identified Lanmaoa asiatica as the mushro...

Nicki Minaj Aces Press Secretary Job Interview on Air Force One, Clears the Bar of Not Confusing the President With Her Husband

Nicki Minaj Aces Press Secretary Job Interview on Ai...

Jake Morrison

Oct 26, 2026

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4

White House communications director Steven Cheung "interviewed" Nicki Minaj a...

Laika's "Wildwood" Is So Long and Handmade That One Effects Supervisor's Daughter Went From Elementary School to Dating Before the Movie Finished

Laika's "Wildwood" Is So Long and Handmade That One ...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 26, 2026

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6

Laika's "Wildwood" runs 132 minutes, the longest stop-motion film ever, took ...

Denver Stood Up by Snow for the Sixth Straight Year; City Still Sitting Alone at the Table With Two Hot Chocolates

Denver Stood Up by Snow for the Sixth Straight Year;...

Emily Carter

Oct 25, 2026

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4

Denver blew past its average first-snow date of October 19 and is now staring...

Vikings Cornerback Arrives at Work Wearing Two Trick-or-Treat Buckets, Asks a Nation to Smell His Cleats

Vikings Cornerback Arrives at Work Wearing Two Trick...

Jake Morrison

Oct 25, 2026

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7

Minnesota Vikings cornerback Isaiah Rodgers warmed up for Sunday's game again...

Horoscope: Aries Rules Madrid as 1,410 Sheep and Goats Detour Around a Housing Protest and Still Pay Rent in Medieval Coins

Horoscope: Aries Rules Madrid as 1,410 Sheep and Goa...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 25, 2026

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4

Madrid's 33rd Transhumance Festival sent 1,250 sheep, 100 lambs and 160 goats...

America's Hottest Heist Is Now Old French-Fry Grease, and Beverly, Massachusetts, Has Been Hit Twice This Month

America's Hottest Heist Is Now Old French-Fry Grease...

Emily Carter

Oct 25, 2026

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7

Two Yonkers men were charged after police in Beverly, Massachusetts, found a ...

Scientists Make One Antimatter Particle "Sit There and Behave" for Months, and Every Parent in America Wants the Magnet

Scientists Make One Antimatter Particle "Sit There a...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 25, 2026

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6

Northwestern physicists led by Gerald Gabrielse have trapped a single positro...

Russia Tells America It Can Have All the Diesel It Wants, Arriving Four Days After the Election It Was Bought For

Russia Tells America It Can Have All the Diesel It W...

Jake Morrison

Oct 25, 2026

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5

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Alexander Novak told state TV that Russia "can ...

Europe Gets an Extra Hour of Sleep, Spends It Still Not Deciding Whether to Keep It

Europe Gets an Extra Hour of Sleep, Spends It Still ...

Emily Carter

Oct 25, 2026

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6

Most of Europe turned its clocks back an hour on Sunday, seven years after th...

Elvis Has Left the Building and Entered the Training Data: Estate Sues Anthropic for $41 Million Over 274 Songs

Elvis Has Left the Building and Entered the Training...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 25, 2026

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7

The owners of Elvis Presley's music have sued Anthropic, claiming its Claude ...

Trump Promises Every American $5,000 If Republicans Win, Having Already Disclosed It Buys One Hamburger and a Small Dessert at Mar-a-Lago

Trump Promises Every American $5,000 If Republicans ...

Jake Morrison

Oct 25, 2026

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4

At a Saturday rally in Perry, Georgia, President Trump renewed his promise of...

OpenAI Grounds Its Smartest AI, Takes Away the Internet, Discovers the Kids Are Now Passing Notes Through the CPU Cache

OpenAI Grounds Its Smartest AI, Takes Away the Inter...

Emily Carter

Oct 25, 2026

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5

OpenAI says its most powerful models will now be trained with no internet acc...

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