NC State Fires Its Winningest Coach Ever for Losing to Stanford, Will Pay Him $10 Million to Stop Winning Slightly Less

North Carolina State fired Dave Doeren on Saturday, which is an unusual thing to do to the winningest football coach in school history. It is like demoting the tallest man in the room for failing to become a giraffe.

The Wolfpack lost 31-28 at Stanford on Friday night and fell to 3-4. Stanford had been picked to finish last in the Atlantic Coast Conference. Its offense was among the worst in the nation and had not scored more than seven points in any of its four losses. Against NC State it scored 31, which in Palo Alto now counts as a dynasty.

Less than a day later, the school made the announcement. "I want to thank Coach Doeren for his service and contributions to NC State, and for always representing the university with pride," athletic director Boo Corrigan said. Every coach hears that sentence eventually. It is the athletic department's way of saying it's not you, it's your record, and also it's you.

Doeren leaves 98-74 after 14 seasons, with 11 bowl bids and a 9-4 mark against North Carolina, including five straight wins over the Tar Heels. In most states that gets you a statue. In Raleigh it gets you a press release and a very spacious Sunday.

The complaint was the ceiling. NC State never played for an ACC championship under him and never won ten games. The program's only ten-win season came in 2002, with Philip Rivers. Its last ACC title came in 1979. Fans have been waiting so long that the waiting now has its own tailgate.

Then there is the money. Doeren was signed through December 2029. The school owes him $9.75 million in base salary, and the total will push past $10 million. In other words, NC State is paying a man ten million dollars to stop losing to Stanford. Stanford did it for free.

The warning signs arrived on schedule. A loss at Virginia in August. A loss at Vanderbilt on a last-second fumble recovery for a touchdown, the kind of ending usually reserved for horror films and Mondays. Then Wake Forest outscored the Wolfpack 28-0 after halftime. The team took a bye week to regroup. Regrouping, it turns out, can be done in either direction.

The interim coach is Todd Goebbel, the running backs coach and special teams coordinator, who has never been a head coach in any capacity. He now has five games to prove himself. Special teams coordinators are built for this: they are summoned only when the offense has given up, and they are expected to kick something.

Newsweek noted it was the second time this week a long-tenured head coach was fired. College football has entered pruning season. Anything that has been in the same office longer than the carpet is now considered a fire hazard.

Last year Doeren shut down talk of retirement. "I'm totally invested in this place," he told the Associated Press. "I love this school and I plan on finishing here."

He kept his word. He finished there. The school just picked the date.