LeBron James Solves Sixers' Rebounding Crisis With a Two-Step Plan: The Ball Goes Up, Then You Grab It

The Philadelphia 76ers lost 106-93 to the Detroit Pistons on Sunday, ending their perfect season at three games, which in Philadelphia counts as a dynasty.

The problem was rebounding. Detroit grabbed 54 rebounds to Philadelphia's 37, a margin so wide the Sixers spent most of the night watching basketballs leave like adult children who never call.

The Pistons collected 15 offensive rebounds and turned them into 24 second-chance points. Philadelphia, meanwhile, gave out second chances like a church, and got nothing back but a collection plate full of Pistons.

Afterward, LeBron James, 41, diagnosed the issue with the precision of a surgeon and the vocabulary of a toddler's picture book.

"In the great words of Taurean Prince, who I saw on the bench tonight, a great friend of mine, 'the ball goes up into the air, and then you go grab the ball, and that's it,'" James said.

That's it. More than two decades in the league, and the secret was printed on the box the whole time.

The quote comes from Prince's famous 2016 Baylor press conference, which means LeBron outsourced his coaching to a college sophomore from a decade ago who was, on Sunday, sitting on the other team's bench. It is the first time in NBA history a player has been beaten by an opponent and then quoted him for the motivational poster.

To be fair, the Sixers were shorthanded. Joel Embiid rested on the second night of a back-to-back, so LeBron played center for the first time in his 76ers career, finishing with 18 points and two rebounds. Two. A Roomba plays center with more ambition, and it at least goes after things on the floor.

"I'm not here to have a sustainable role at the five; you've got Joel Embiid on the team," James explained, which is what every substitute teacher says right before showing a movie.

Earlier he had pointed at Embiid's locker and announced, "S–t, we got an MVP over here," a reminder that the locker is currently the healthiest center on the roster.

Only Adem Bona had more than five rebounds, grabbing 13 off the bench. Bona was the only Sixer who seemed to have read the instructions, and in fairness, they were only one sentence long.

Coaches across America are now scrambling to apply LeBron's method to other areas. Free throws: the ball goes toward the hoop, then it goes in. Defense: the other guy has the ball, then he doesn't. Contract negotiations: the money goes up into the air, then you go grab the money, and that's it.

Philadelphia now sits at 3-1, still the envy of many franchises and several Philadelphia sports fans who have never seen a winning record without a lawyer present.

The fix is simple. The season goes up into the air. Then you go grab it. And if you're the Sixers, you check whether Taurean Prince is standing behind you first.