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Arsenal Survive a Drone Attack at Highbury, Then Get Shot Down Anyway by a Fishing Town That Never Practised Penalties

Arsenal Survive a Drone Attack at Highbury, Then Get...

Jake Morrison

Oct 28, 2026

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Arsenal survived a drone over Highbury but not Fleetwood Town, a League Two s...

Illinois Man Mails Fake Anthrax to Congress, Signs Every Envelope With His Own Name and Home Address in Case the FBI Wanted to Write Back

Illinois Man Mails Fake Anthrax to Congress, Signs E...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 28, 2026

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A Quincy, Illinois man allegedly mailed four members of Congress salt, handwr...

Trump Points at an Oil Tanker and Tells Texas It Is a Campaign Promise, and the Tanker, Which Cannot Vote, Has Never Felt So Seen

Trump Points at an Oil Tanker and Tells Texas It Is ...

Emily Carter

Oct 27, 2026

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At a rally at the Port of Corpus Christi, President Trump pointed to a tanker...

Meta Sells $97.5 Billion of Itself to Build a Superintelligence Smart Enough to Explain Where the Money Went

Meta Sells $97.5 Billion of Itself to Build a Superi...

Jake Morrison

Oct 27, 2026

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Meta raised its planned stock sales to $97.5 billion to fund AI and "personal...

Possible Tornado Hits Essex as Witness Reports Leaves Engaged in "Not a Normal Sort of Behaviour" and Britain Bravely Goes Inside

Possible Tornado Hits Essex as Witness Reports Leave...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 27, 2026

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A possible tornado or waterspout hit Frinton-on-Sea in Essex on Sunday, damag...

Study Finds Fast Walkers Live Longer, Confirming the Grim Reaper Mostly Catches People Who Stop to Read Restaurant Menus

Study Finds Fast Walkers Live Longer, Confirming the...

Emily Carter

Oct 27, 2026

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A JAMA Network Open study of more than 4,000 British civil servants found tha...

Luxembourg Shuts Down Puppy Yoga After Learning the Puppies Were Working Four-Hour Shifts With No Permit, No Mother and No Idea What Yoga Is

Luxembourg Shuts Down Puppy Yoga After Learning the ...

Jake Morrison

Oct 27, 2026

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Luxembourg's veterinary inspectors halted unauthorised puppy yoga run under t...

America's Biggest Overseas Air Base Stores Tomahawk Missiles Without Blinking, Is Now Officially Terrified of a Taxi

America's Biggest Overseas Air Base Stores Tomahawk ...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 27, 2026

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Kadena Air Base in Okinawa began turning away every BYD vehicle at every gate...

Milwaukee Bucks Win One Game All Season, Immediately Start Talking Trash to an Entire State

Milwaukee Bucks Win One Game All Season, Immediately...

Emily Carter

Oct 27, 2026

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The Milwaukee Bucks won their first game of the season, then used their shiny...

Jay-Z Searches the Entire Planet for the Perfect Super Bowl Halftime Act, Finds Him in the Mirror

Jay-Z Searches the Entire Planet for the Perfect Sup...

Jake Morrison

Oct 27, 2026

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Jay-Z, whose company Roc Nation helps produce the Super Bowl halftime show, h...

Florida Jury Convicts Man Who Swallowed $769,500 in Tiffany Earrings, Making Him the Only Thief in History Whose Getaway Plan Required Fiber

Florida Jury Convicts Man Who Swallowed $769,500 in ...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 27, 2026

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An Orange County jury has found Jaythan Gilder guilty of robbery and grand th...

Scientists Confirm Spiders Dream, Answering the Question Nobody Who Wanted to Sleep Tonight Asked

Scientists Confirm Spiders Dream, Answering the Ques...

Emily Carter

Oct 27, 2026

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University of Bonn researchers report in PNAS that the Australian jumping spi...

Ben and Jerry Sue for Custody of Their Own Ice Cream; Magnum Insists the Kid Is "Thriving" and Has Never Been Happier in the Freezer

Ben and Jerry Sue for Custody of Their Own Ice Cream...

Jake Morrison

Oct 27, 2026

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Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are exploring a deal with Expanding ESOPs foun...

Obama Says Trump's White House Looks Like "Saddam Hussein Opened a Cheesecake Factory"; Cheesecake Factory Demands to Know Why It Was Dragged Into This With No Bread Basket

Obama Says Trump's White House Looks Like "Saddam Hu...

Tyler Brooks

Oct 27, 2026

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Barack Obama compared the gold-plated White House to a dictator's Cheesecake ...

Pacific Ocean Breaks Its 21-Year High-Tide Record by About One Inch, Celebrates by Flooding the Balboa Fun Zone Without Buying a Ticket

Pacific Ocean Breaks Its 21-Year High-Tide Record by...

Emily Carter

Oct 26, 2026

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The San Pedro tide gauge hit an all-time record 8.02 feet, beating 2005 by ro...

Your Horoscope: An SUV Entered a Patio, the Internet Entered Denial, and a Banana Was the Only Adult in Orlando

Your Horoscope: An SUV Entered a Patio, the Internet...

Jake Morrison

Oct 26, 2026

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At 4 a.m. Saturday an SUV drove through The Moderne's patio in Orlando, and t...

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