Today’s Horoscopes: Four Planets Are Retrograde, the Moon Is Void After Dinner, and Your Ex Is Still Not the Lesson

The cosmos today is a group project where four members are working backwards, the Sun is trying to keep the peace in Libra, and the Moon is in Taurus until it clocks out this evening and becomes void of course — astrology’s official “do not start anything important, including arguments, haircuts, or cryptocurrency.” Mercury enters Scorpio tomorrow, which means your texts are about to get shorter and meaner. You have been warned.

Aries — Mars is in Leo and so is your need to be perceived. Excellent day to start a fight you will later call “boundaries.” Poor day to start a group chat.

Taurus — The Moon is in your sign, 90 percent full of opinions and snacks. Do not make a large purchase after 7:37 p.m. EDT. That includes “just one more” of anything.

Gemini — Uranus is retrograde in your sky and your attention span has filed for separation. Finish one tab. Not twelve. The algorithm is not your friend; it is your enabler.

Cancer — Everyone wants a hug and a strategic plan. Give neither until you have eaten. Soft exterior, federal-reserve interior. Protect the vault.

Leo — Main-character transit unlocked. The universe said “roar.” Your coworkers heard “reply-all.” Dim the spotlight 12 percent. You will still be visible from space.

Virgo — You already corrected this horoscope in your head. Relax. The mess is not a moral failing. It is Tuesday. Color-code it later.

Libra — It is your season and you still cannot pick a restaurant. Diplomacy is cute until the oil market and your group of friends both refuse to reopen the strait. Choose. Then pretend it was consensus.

Scorpio — Mercury arrives on your doorstep tomorrow with a flashlight and a grudge. Today, practice saying less. Tomorrow, everyone will confess. Bring popcorn, not a deposition.

Sagittarius — You want a spontaneous trip. Four planets are retrograde. The airport is a metaphor. Book the refundable option or stay home and lecture a houseplant. Same dopamine.

Capricorn — Saturn is retrograde in Aries, which is corporate for “the promotion is delayed and also your fault somehow.” Do the work anyway. The spreadsheet can smell fear.

Aquarius — Pluto lives in your house now and OpenAI’s interns already tried to log into the government. Innovate, but maybe not by using credentials you found under a digital doormat.

Pisces — Neptune is retrograde and so is your grip on the plot. Beautiful visions. Terrible receipts. If it sounds like a soulmate and invoices like a timeshare, it is a timeshare.

Collective forecast: Do not sign, dye, elope, or short Nvidia after the Moon goes void tonight. Four planets are reversing like they rejected a peace plan and went to a football game instead. Tomorrow Mercury slinks into Scorpio and the vibe shifts from “let’s talk it out” to “I know what you did last summer and I have screenshots.”

The stars are not judging you. They are busy being retrograde. You are free to make the same mistake with better lighting.